Mar 6, 2014 - Uncategorized    No Comments

The person I’m becoming.

Today I just feel like I’m done. I’m done with being sad, mad, anger and just down. I want to have fun and get crazy. I’m still trying to find out who the fuck I am. So I’m going to start experimenting with things. Not necessarily drugs but with life. Try something new and if I don’t like anything I’ll change it. If nobody likes the way I’m becoming Oh well. I don’t care anymore. I’m tired of making people happy and they can’t do the same to me. So if I want something I’m getting it. I don’t give a fuck anymore. I’m tired of being nice to people that isn’t nice to me. So if you have a problem, oh fucking well everyone has a problem.
Doris – Joan

Dec 14, 2013 - Uncategorized    2 Comments

My feelings do matter..

Today, I thought it couldn’t get worse but it did. I realize today that I try to hard to make other people happy and I do too much for people and less for myself. Like some people say, you have to love yourself before you love someone else. For me I did the opposite I try to love someone but I forgot to love and make my own self happy first. Now, my feelings are I’m tired of the rudeness, disrespect, and the not caring about how I feel. I feel like men these days forget we are woman and need attention and love. Then there are women who take other women’s men and think it’s okay. It’s not. Yes the man is fine and he’s kind and sweet but that’s why the man has a woman. It means he’s off limits. I’m going to be very honest with you guys I am a jealous person, I only get jealous when my man says “oh this girl thinks I’m cute and sweet and she wants to be mine” it really made me upset to hear that ’cause I’m like duh that’s why I’m with him. I feel like people are trying to take what I have and I am just simply trying to defend what I have. I just feel like now I’m at a crossroad and it says stay with him or leave him. I don’t want to stay and he continues to do what he’s doing or leave and regret it. So that’s just what I’m thinking about now. Just keep me in your prayers and I’ll do the same. Thank you for your time


Aug 4, 2013 - Uncategorized    Comments Off

Change could either be good or bad..

Sometimes I like change but sometimes I don’t. I feel like I get too used to things and I don’t want things to change. For example, if I am bored with something like my appearance( hair, nails, etc.) I change it. But my relationship and my appearance are way too different things. Now let me start getting into what I’m talking about change might come sooner or later in my relationship. Now at this point, I don’t like changes not changes like this. I know people say ” if you love someone you let them go” well what if I don’t want to let him go. I don’t want to feel like I am giving up on a great relationship or to be a ” quitter”. I mean I may give up on some things but not something precious like this. But what I really need to learn about myself is to not worry, my friend tells me not to cry or give a shit about it but I’m not that type of person I never was so it would be hard not to care about something or someone. But I will try not to worry or stress myself out. He tells me stress can kill me maybe he’s right cause I really do stress myself out alot. So my lesson today is to take a deep breath and think about the times spend with my boyfriend and that will make me laugh and smile and communicate with him even though when I do he has nothing to say but I know he cares so I guess I shouldn’t tale it personally. Thanks for reading hopefully this helped you too. I will write more and God bless(:

May 25, 2013 - Uncategorized    2 Comments

Loving in different ways

So it’s the afternoon now and my boyfriend and I aren’t on good terms right now. Sometimes wonder if God is making plans for us in the future to last, but I guess he’s just testing my faith and strength. I really love my boyfriend but it’s like we can’t never go left or right. I’m not saying I wanna give up on what we have ’cause what we have is very special to me in so many ways. I just wish he would understand more on how I feel as his girlfriend and soon to be fiancée and wife. I just feel that when I wanna do things they have to be put aside but if there is something he wants to do I jump up and do it, but at the same time I’m doing things too and there are times when you have to be patient and wait. How do I deal with someone who can be impatient at times and I’m really a patient person. I guess you could say well opposites attract, yes that can be true but what if the differences can’t be equal at the long run, what if in the end it doesn’t work? I can only hope, dream and have faith that everything will be okay and I have to let God see us through, because I CANNOT do this alone. I hope through this space between us right now will come together and make us one again ’cause I hate being alone in the rain. It’s so hard not to say anything but I guess I had to learn how to step back and just watch. You know I love you, you should know I do. I’ll see you soon. Don’t back out on me. Forever and always

Feb 25, 2013 - Uncategorized    2 Comments

The “f” word and the meaning to me

The meaning of family to me is having a group of people not always your relative or someone relating to you but just that certain someone in your life that you can depend on and always trust. Well I have a special someone in my life and I call him my “Pooh Bear” we have been together for 5 years in November and I truly love him so much. Im adding him into this topic family because he practically is my family or at least part of it. Ever since I have laid eyes on him I knew  I couldn’t live without him (  not in a suicidal way)  Getting to my point,  family means a lot to me because I grew up with these people I call family and what’s life without a family? some of them I can’t trust or depend on and the only person I can depend on is my “pooh bear” and that’s really hard to say, well not really but the thought of it sucks. Its like your literally my blood relative and I can’t trust you,  that’s a problem, so my theme or moral today is be that loving caring person to your family, everybody only has one life to live and if they’re taking you for granted well screw them, life keeps going on so therefore you have to too and for myself I have to stop being the usee and tell my family how I feel about them ( not in a bad way of course)

- Doris-Joan

Feb 23, 2013 - Uncategorized    2 Comments

Who I Am

Who am I? That’s what i asked myself recently and the answer is i am a young strong black woman who has been through alot, but that’s not going to stop me. I guess you can say it happened for a reason, I don’t know but now in my life I’m actually happy for once and I know there’s always going to be “obstacles” but I’m going to get through themwith my wonderful friends and family and you :)

Love, Doris-Joan

Feb 22, 2013 - Uncategorized    Comments Off

There is always a first time for everything.. Right?

this is my very first post and im really excited to share my life and thoughts with you hope you will enjoy
                                                                                                                                                              sincerely, Doris-Joan